tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33915440630024177912024-03-13T04:02:43.045-07:00Trisomy 18 - Hope WessmanThe angel in our eternal familyThe Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-72358991283949101032009-05-18T18:14:00.000-07:002013-03-24T19:11:03.316-07:00Hope Elisabeth<span style="font-weight: bold;">This site is dedicated to our little girl, Hope Elisabeth, who was born with Trisomy 18, a chromosomal abnormality. She passed away shortly after she was born. We miss her and desire to share her story with others. You can find links to her story on the sidebar. Please take a look!</span><br />
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Hope Elisabeth Wessman was born on <st1:date day="14" month="5" st="on" year="2005">May 14, 2005</st1:date>. Prior to her birth, Hope was diagnosed with the chromosomal disorder Trisomy 18. We knew that her time with us would be limited and felt so blessed to spend a day with her. She is a beautiful little girl with lots of dark hair. We are grateful for the memories created with her and look forward to being reunited as an eternal family.<br />
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Seven and a half years following Hope's birth, her sister, Amelia "Milli", was also born with Trisomy 18. Milli has her own website at <a href="http://www.ameliawessman.net/">www.ameliawessman.net</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://www.legacy.com/gb2/default.aspx?bookid=3573416338112">Hope's Online Guestbook</a><br />
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The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us hope and strength as we look toward being with our loved ones again. <a href="http://mormon.org/plan-of-happiness/">God's Plan of Happiness</a><br />
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A favorite website on Finding Hope in Jesus Christ in times of difficulty and despair:<br />
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This is a fabulous organization. We knew the co-founder at the time of Hope's birth. She, along with so many others in our community, was a great support. The services of Angel Watch are available to anyone in the state of Utah - regardless of if you are affiliated with an IHC hospital.<br />
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<script src="http://pandora.bonnint.net/video/embed-1.php?id=14591761" type="text/javascript"></script>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-83143398042982698472009-05-17T19:34:00.000-07:002011-03-04T20:24:48.440-08:00Hope's HeadstoneThis is the design that we gave the memorial company. We hadn't finalized the wording, but this is what we gave them and they did a great job!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUkSASbjT1t7r8gWJyOxxBeEz0eUTuQeU918Iskgk4uSmmKRu37jRSO7le1TPCQalfKrxzr_hEkgcGitJX6UrKOfcRV49WDPb1DS6dRPiU4AbjLuiMso734GHKlNSjxCH6RzMeIRk_F54/s1600-h/Headstone.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 309px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUkSASbjT1t7r8gWJyOxxBeEz0eUTuQeU918Iskgk4uSmmKRu37jRSO7le1TPCQalfKrxzr_hEkgcGitJX6UrKOfcRV49WDPb1DS6dRPiU4AbjLuiMso734GHKlNSjxCH6RzMeIRk_F54/s400/Headstone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336987937586869778" border="0" /></a><br />Here are a few pictures of the headstone and us visiting:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirXv35hWL61e4sFp7s_gutGOkNZlcSGkNHwgHMr6sAHRtCWn55PnAWnvYVgp7rg9vXB8EI_UdZ_xd7jnL8az1lOxSQQYK3BrIUfH7WsUFp9DQgqF4oLILEOdQ9TzIbUggAfoHh55vN_PQ/s1600-h/P1060013.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirXv35hWL61e4sFp7s_gutGOkNZlcSGkNHwgHMr6sAHRtCWn55PnAWnvYVgp7rg9vXB8EI_UdZ_xd7jnL8az1lOxSQQYK3BrIUfH7WsUFp9DQgqF4oLILEOdQ9TzIbUggAfoHh55vN_PQ/s400/P1060013.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336987950267206722" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2SXxCpZqsGkx1iBhSOXnbEIHuC4wyJZclRJH9g8pCKKBcEnbS5KdOBbWsjNBPWoEdpA84Mx4ILL86lihihm2P8ji1CDWnjvzr-_KT0q0at8ATH48HAIFxROkKsCEfLtzZBqIg1EJ8MI/s1600-h/P3220022.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn2SXxCpZqsGkx1iBhSOXnbEIHuC4wyJZclRJH9g8pCKKBcEnbS5KdOBbWsjNBPWoEdpA84Mx4ILL86lihihm2P8ji1CDWnjvzr-_KT0q0at8ATH48HAIFxROkKsCEfLtzZBqIg1EJ8MI/s400/P3220022.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336987948081501906" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj65fn9NYCP2UC2XuQ-rlXPG-RZqLZXh6e0bbLWZT7mPPP3iUFZ2ThZ41QuM-aORU6UgQXBz-ousbt7_UgWon2lwZfNMM_bmFMJt-zMXzTVfQhsiTTM3jxFqPJ3vZLjUVtu1kjQLFbpgxA/s1600-h/IMG_0306.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj65fn9NYCP2UC2XuQ-rlXPG-RZqLZXh6e0bbLWZT7mPPP3iUFZ2ThZ41QuM-aORU6UgQXBz-ousbt7_UgWon2lwZfNMM_bmFMJt-zMXzTVfQhsiTTM3jxFqPJ3vZLjUVtu1kjQLFbpgxA/s400/IMG_0306.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336987947479635506" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7jpKJeyNTAxn7Od8Q3Ve1TW2C2H_ZvjL4rCrM91fEyTNX_9tLHHRo1X3AcMehWisUjUjiJc3kY0O_ShakgLnHNW6Y5K7LbkkYg9wEpPrItdnpp28UAnrv7zM2WTE3noklCK9CmYZjEQE/s1600-h/IMG_0636.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7jpKJeyNTAxn7Od8Q3Ve1TW2C2H_ZvjL4rCrM91fEyTNX_9tLHHRo1X3AcMehWisUjUjiJc3kY0O_ShakgLnHNW6Y5K7LbkkYg9wEpPrItdnpp28UAnrv7zM2WTE3noklCK9CmYZjEQE/s400/IMG_0636.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336987941419801682" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUkSASbjT1t7r8gWJyOxxBeEz0eUTuQeU918Iskgk4uSmmKRu37jRSO7le1TPCQalfKrxzr_hEkgcGitJX6UrKOfcRV49WDPb1DS6dRPiU4AbjLuiMso734GHKlNSjxCH6RzMeIRk_F54/s1600-h/Headstone.jpg"><br /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT2EyGiFHE6S-vYt89kOaU0GHUcDMinFYUN4aKZDiVLvt5rBHTndU-NN5gPb-IIPBQbcMbrV_B_GGvFHfDlXQyEi12tQFiSkZP57Rl3Beq-3J7XN2FK4WvmXTwZa7Rfvj4bhDqa9tvjNs/s1600/IMG_0936.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT2EyGiFHE6S-vYt89kOaU0GHUcDMinFYUN4aKZDiVLvt5rBHTndU-NN5gPb-IIPBQbcMbrV_B_GGvFHfDlXQyEi12tQFiSkZP57Rl3Beq-3J7XN2FK4WvmXTwZa7Rfvj4bhDqa9tvjNs/s400/IMG_0936.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580446746786950498" /></a>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-64995853701260419112009-05-17T18:34:00.001-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.924-07:00Facts about Trisomy 18Trisomy 18 is a chromosome disorder due to the presence of an extra #18 chromosome. It occurs in approximately 1 in 3,000 to 5,000 live born infants. Major effects of Trisomy 18 include a predisposition to birth defects, increased infant mortality, and a developmental disability in older infants and children.<br /><br />Those born with Trisomy 18 usually have small size at birth (Hope was 3 lbs. 0 oz.) and various birth defects. (Hope’s problems included heart and lung difficulties.) The most common and serious birth defect is congenital heart malformation. Approximately 50% of live births with Trisomy 18 will survive beyond the first week of life. Less than 5% survive to their first birthday. <br /><br />The increased occurrence of infant mortality is related to a combination of factors but most importantly central apnea, where the brain does not give the message to breathe. Other complicating factors include difficulty feeding and under development of the lungs. Those children that survive beyond a year face a variety of challenges such as growth and development delays in addition to the aforementioned items.<br /><br />Trisomy 18 is frequently identified prior to birth through ultrasounds and/or an amniocentesis for chromosome testing. It is the second most common chromosome disorder, after Trisomy 21 (also known as Down Syndrome). Unlike Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18 is medically considered “incompatible with life”.<br /><br />While the mortal outlook for children with Trisomy 18 is generally short, Marinda and I are thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and particularly eternal families. We testify that through Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness, we will be reunited with our daughter Hope after this life.<br />The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-19932696915281460712009-05-17T18:30:00.002-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.927-07:00Hope's Funeral - Mike's TalkThank Marinda – She’s a wonderful wife and mother. What an example of beauty, faith, and courage! She continually amazes me.<p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4fDO3kcpTJvBEeOC9Y-lcd4mE6ClgNLCm8Nl-P9hnlYfQisdzLtNLKeVZU9K7r4HWFDa4n1vKyy89tlpLL8GeJ5MHHcYrNLeslJwg332NjUfkln0XzZZXVAUNvmQvpFyJjx0vWu0Umg/s1600-h/gateway.dll"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 159px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4fDO3kcpTJvBEeOC9Y-lcd4mE6ClgNLCm8Nl-P9hnlYfQisdzLtNLKeVZU9K7r4HWFDa4n1vKyy89tlpLL8GeJ5MHHcYrNLeslJwg332NjUfkln0XzZZXVAUNvmQvpFyJjx0vWu0Umg/s320/gateway.dll" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336989464759048546" border="0"></a>I’ve contemplated for some time what, if anything, I would say at Hope’s funeral. Obviously, these have been a challenging few days recently, and certainly a challenging few months from the time we learned of our daughter’s problems. The trials and challenges of life unexpectedly come to us. The hymn <a href="http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=1&searchseqstart=105&searchsubseqstart=%20&searchseqend=105&searchsubseqend=ZZZ"><em>Master the Tempest is Raging</em> (#105)</a> describes my feelings:</p><p></p><ul><em>Master, with anguish of spirit I bow in my grief today<br />The depths of my sad heart are troubled. Oh waken and save, I pray!<br />I perish dear Master. Oh, hasten and take control!</em></ul><p>And then, follows the solution to life’s challenges and problems – turn to the Savior and His atonement. “He will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor [or help] his people.” (<a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/alma/7/12#12">Alma 7:12</a>) The song continues:</p><p></p><ul><em>The winds and the waves shall obey thy will: Peace, be still.<br />Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea<br />Or demons or men or whatever it be,<br />No waters can swallow the ship where lies<br />The Master of ocean and earth and skies.<br />They all shall sweetly obey thy will: Peace, be still; peace be still</em></ul><p>The Lord teaches us to “Be still and know that I am God.” (<a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/ps/46/10#10">Psalms 46:10</a>, <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/dc/101/16#16">D&C 101:16</a>). Whatever torrents of life swirl about us or waves crash over us, we can turn to the Savior. The Atonement of Christ is miraculous and wonderful. It is through Him that I find peace and comfort at this time of grieving and sorrow.</p><p>While our time with Hope was limited, I strive to focus on the joy. I remember clearly the first time Marinda placed my hand on her womb and I felt Hope kick! How exciting that was – to interact with my daughter for the first time!</p><p>Early Saturday morning Hope entered the world and I was able to interact with her again. How thrilling to see her little face and then hear her tiny cry! I had looked forward to this event for quite some time and suddenly there was her voice! I was overjoyed!</p><p>My father, who arrived from Idaho with my family shortly after her birth, wrote the following: </p><p></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnE6vJWq2fMSrsjIIwgWgSYWfUWlwWxxUthpaDqK_VxRqK2ok5Y83MulB2f-jf76b02AQlHHE4YfZlFsGEu5ftbwvnZYmyCs7_OJcHzk0_v5duhPERstiioX2eBpfV1GSc8-bLtyi4l4E/s1600-h/P5140064.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 104px; height: 140px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnE6vJWq2fMSrsjIIwgWgSYWfUWlwWxxUthpaDqK_VxRqK2ok5Y83MulB2f-jf76b02AQlHHE4YfZlFsGEu5ftbwvnZYmyCs7_OJcHzk0_v5duhPERstiioX2eBpfV1GSc8-bLtyi4l4E/s320/P5140064.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336990012018073250" border="0"></a><ul>“What an experience to hold her, look at her and feel her hair. She had a small mouth, long fingers and legs, lots of dark hair and a perfect face. Hope is so sweet and innocent, a perfect spirit. What a special experience. Just from heaven to this earth to receive a body and fulfill her brief mortal existence… Living less than one hour and yet making such an impact on her loving family. I will always remember and cherish the wonderful time with Hope. I look forward to the time to meet and greet her again in the life hereafter where our time will be eternal. She is so special with a very strong spiritual presence about her. “ - David Wessman<p>End quote.</p><p></p></ul>While Hope was with us, I pronounced a priesthood blessing on her, what a cherished experience!<p> For me, the most difficult times come as I see events in life play out and I yearn to have that experience with Hope. To hear a baby cry, see children run through the grass, comfort a child in pain, or build a sandcastle together at the beach. While Hope and I won’t have those experiences together in this life, I find comfort and strength in the words of prophets.</p><p>The ancient prophet Moroni wrote his father’s words “…Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him...” <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/moro/7/41#41">Moroni 7:41</a></p><p>‘Ye shall have [H]ope through the atonement of Christ!’ What a blessing this is. Marinda and I shall be reunited with our daughter through the atonement of Christ. The Holy Spirit testifies of the truthfulness of this. I have felt this sweet confirmation from God. I testify that through the atonement of Christ and the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, our families can be eternal. Heavenly Father extends that offer to each of us, it is now up to us to reach out and receive the blessing. Hope provides a tremendous incentive for Marinda and I to live such that we can return to our Father’s presence and be with our wonderful daughter.</p><p>When the tempest of life threatens to sink our ship, we turn to Christ and His miraculous atonement and find peace, joy, and eternal life. It is through Him and His holy ordinances of the temple that I know I will be with my daughter again, even forever as an eternal family. In this I find joy and of this I testify, in the name of the Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.<br /></p>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-49412001218387540642009-05-17T18:30:00.001-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.930-07:00Hope's Funeral - Marinda's TalkOn January 24, 2005, Mike and I learned the possibility that our unborn daughter showed signs for a genetic disorder “incompatible with life”. Trisomy 18 affects 1 in 8000 to 1 in 3000 births (depending on the statistics that you read). Our little girl’s signs included disproportionate heart ventricles, a large cyst on the brain, restricted blood flow in the umbilical cord and a significant delay in development. Receiving this news was devastating. What was supposed to be an exciting day—getting our official ultrasound—turned into a nightmare. We entered the doctor’s office two young people excited to have a baby and left full fledged parents with all the love, worry and fears any parent has for his or her child. The next weeks forced Mike and me to reflect seriously on our testimonies of eternal families and to learn to rely on and love each other with greater depth.<p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGts5VkhIb2O1nSbyvW6QTWTEDBcXDDA9Ojt_XCcvYM2-iuOwQK0hwb23kDHmyHubnbPna5d9K0lU1ZbyWO_35hPYTV0iwRSNMNJ5doyn9HKs9IHkSty1qPr77dQeVrh_JRlYzSiXVXI/s1600-h/5372_JORDANUT_hr.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGts5VkhIb2O1nSbyvW6QTWTEDBcXDDA9Ojt_XCcvYM2-iuOwQK0hwb23kDHmyHubnbPna5d9K0lU1ZbyWO_35hPYTV0iwRSNMNJ5doyn9HKs9IHkSty1qPr77dQeVrh_JRlYzSiXVXI/s320/5372_JORDANUT_hr.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336991592160397618" border="0"></a>Three days after learning this news we visited the temple. We went to find peace and answers and also to choose a name for our little angel. We had always leaned towards the name Elizabeth, but with the recent developments Mike had suggested the name Hope. At the temple, we chose the name Hope Elizabeth Wessman.</p><p>In the days and weeks since I have been drawn to scriptures and thoughts related to the principle of hope. The first to come to mind is found in <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/ether/12/4#4">Ether 12:4</a>. I was familiar with this verse because seven years ago in Osorno, Chile, two of my sweet Chilean sisters read this verse as my companion and I taught them. “…Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world….” The spirit taught them that by following the gospel of Jesus Christ, they could be assured of the hope of a better world and a better life. I have always loved this phrase of scripture, but now it holds an extra special meaning to me. I know that because of our belief in Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, we can with absolute surety hope for a better world. And although the world to come will certainly encompass the ultimate in “better worlds”, I don’t think that we have to wait until the next life. My life on earth is better no doubt because of the belief I have in a loving Father in Heaven. This verse in Ether continues by explaining that our hope and faith serve as an “anchor to the souls of men.” I testify that my testimony and my hope for a better world with my husband and children, including Hope, are the only things that can anchor my soul during times such as these.</p><p>Hours after receiving the official diagnosis of Hope’s condition on February 9, I read parts of a chapter in a book written by Elder John H. Groberg [General Authority for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints]. His remarks teach that “There is Always Hope.” I looked up the scriptures he referred to and was especially touched by the New Testament verse found in <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/1_cor/15/19#19">1 Corinthians 15:19</a>. It reads, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.” Now, I am not advocating that we change the scriptures, but I couldn’t help but reread this verse “If in this life only we have Hope Elisabeth, we are of all men most miserable.” Our time with our daughter was limited. If the time with her on this earth was all we had to look forward to, then I will be forever miserable, but I know that a merciful Creator has prepared the Great Plan of Happiness that will allow us to avoid that misery. Because of our marriage in the temple, Mike and I will have Hope for eternity. There is more than this life and because of that we can rejoice and give ultimate thanks to our Heavenly Father. I testify of the power in temples to seal our families together for eternity.</p><p>As the weeks passed, Mike and I worried and grieved with the fears regarding our daughter’s health. As we experienced this sorrow, however, the Spirit was rich in our lives and continually bore testimony to us of our Father’s awareness of our situation. For example, at one point, when Mike was on a business trip, he visited the San Diego Temple. He found himself reading in the Book of Luke in the New Testament. He called me that night and told me that he felt we needed to spell Hope’s middle name with an “s” just like Elisabeth in the New Testament. I asked him why he felt that and he asked me to read Luke chapter 1, <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/luke/1/37#37">verse 37</a>. It simply reads “for with God nothing shall be impossible.” As I read verses surrounding this verse, I realized that I was reading the account of Mary and her cousin Elisabeth, both with child, carrying Jesus Christ and John the Baptist. Both of these stories carried with them incredible miracles! I knew that Hope’s life would be surrounded by miracles, whether they be in her life or in the lives of her family members.</p><p>Just as January 24th was perhaps the most difficult day of my life, May 14th competes as one of the best. The Spirit that I felt as Hope entered the world was absolutely beautiful. Her earthly life was short—not more than 45 minutes long, but even after her Spirit left her body, I felt of her sweet presence with us. Mike and I were privileged to hold her and keep her with us for several hours after her passing. During that time we desired to share with her experiences that we may feel we were missing out on as a family. We said family prayers; we sang songs and told her stories. We shared favorite scriptures. I shared with her verses found in <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/2_ne/2/8-9#8">2 Nephi 2:8-9</a>. They read:</p><p></p><ul>Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise.<p>Wherefore, he is the firstfruits unto God, inasmuch as he shall make intercession for all the children of men; and they that believe in him shall be saved.</p></ul><p style="text-align: left;">The resurrection of Jesus Christ is glorious! And because of it all of us will be resurrected. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibqeFOZWuC_iAORoWimcsi0qS0CUXhWSZ88KAdHlj_ybvEVKmRe7GOJsl-hCRiD413i8k9Y01H8fayK5koIeI3k-l64G8BoFmFQFjiPDuFmrQuyn9maEcSIfx1yh_4n2LFlWco4BAuqh4/s1600-h/2COM004.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 236px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibqeFOZWuC_iAORoWimcsi0qS0CUXhWSZ88KAdHlj_ybvEVKmRe7GOJsl-hCRiD413i8k9Y01H8fayK5koIeI3k-l64G8BoFmFQFjiPDuFmrQuyn9maEcSIfx1yh_4n2LFlWco4BAuqh4/s320/2COM004.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336991864624841858" border="0"></a></p><p style="text-align: left;">Mike shared with Hope and me the beautiful account of Christ blessing the children as He visited the Nephites.</p><p>I close with a well-loved <a href="http://scriptures.lds.org/2_ne/31/20#20">verse</a> from the Book of Mormon:</p><p></p><ul>Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. (2 Nephi 31:20)<br /></ul><p>For Mike and I, as well as other members of our family, the life of Hope Elisabeth has provided a perfect brightness in our lives. She has helped us to strengthen our love of God and of all men. It is my prayer that I will press forward always feasting upon the words of Christ because my greatest desire is to have eternal life with my husband and children.</p><p>I testify of Jesus Christ. He lives and He loves us. He will always bless us with the support, strength and comfort that we need. Elder David E. Sorenson of the Seventy said in <a href="http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-520-24,00.html">last month’s General Conference</a> that “the key is to remember that faith and obedience are still the answers—even when things go wrong, perhaps especially when things go wrong.” Perhaps our prayers were not answered in the way we had hoped, but out prayers were heard and answered. And I know that according to the Lord’s will and timing things went especially right.<br /></p>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-74554662944094383632009-05-17T18:28:00.001-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.934-07:00Hope's Story - DiagnosisOur story begins on October 16, 2004. I had suspected for a week or so that I was expecting our first child. I had been sick all day—not morning sickness or nausea, just a terrible headache and cold. Mike picked up a pregnancy test from the grocery store and brought it home to me. I had a difficult time getting very excited about the positive test results feeling as lousy as I did, but Mike gave me a kiss as we were now entering the official journey of parenting.<br /><br />Over the next few weeks, I had a pretty normal first trimester experience. I was occasionally sick and nauseated. I was very fortunate that my obstetrician performed ultrasounds at all of our appointments. At 7 weeks we saw her heart beat! It was amazing. At our next appointment, we received pictures showing her tiny limbs. At 17 weeks, our doctor told us that he suspected we were expecting a little girl. Mike and I were so excited to welcome a daughter into our family!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUHo6LbOKvLmXmsi-PFTBiK9d_MTFNr1Q1dfzTAb7jMigW4unsFa9XKLH8t6KEd_iFzF5biLJjOyhzX9Jnw29X7hn39ab_bGWBisO267XGvIZ4cnwb7rjSSvokQidXxtHcjy4PvuKlN6Q/s1600-h/Going+to+the+Ultrasound.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 164px; height: 219px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUHo6LbOKvLmXmsi-PFTBiK9d_MTFNr1Q1dfzTAb7jMigW4unsFa9XKLH8t6KEd_iFzF5biLJjOyhzX9Jnw29X7hn39ab_bGWBisO267XGvIZ4cnwb7rjSSvokQidXxtHcjy4PvuKlN6Q/s320/Going+to+the+Ultrasound.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336998710881877746" border="0"></a>On January 24th (19½ weeks) we visited a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor for the official ultrasound. (The picture is the "on the way to the ultrasound" picture.) We were told that at this appointment we could confirm our baby’s sex and that she would be sized. I didn’t realize how thorough this routine ultrasound would be. We spent the first 30 minutes, at least, with an ultrasound technician who pointed out our baby’s organs and other body parts. She confirmed that we were, in fact, having a little girl! The tech left to give the measurements and pictures to the doctor who we were told would come in and look at a few more things. When the doctor came in, he introduced himself and immediately asked how sure I was about the baby’s due date. I told him that I was sure about it and he commented that he was concerned that she was 2 weeks behind in development according to the measurements the technician had taken. He sat down and continued to scan me. He and the tech talked in hushed tones in medical vernacular that my husband and I couldn’t quite decipher. The doctor, however, was wonderful to reassure me that I would know everything he had seen prior to leaving his office. When he finished, he told Mike and I about Trisomy 18. He told us that, in addition to the delay in development, our baby had disproportionate heart ventricles, irregular blood flow through the umbilical cord and a large cyst on the brain. He told us that any of these things on their own would not be a terrible cause for concern, but that put together they indicated a possibility for Trisomy 18. He explained that Trisomy 18 is “incompatible with life” and that our child, if diagnosed with Trisomy 18, would not likely live past the 1st week of life. The doctor recommended that we have an amniocentesis performed. Although there was a slight risk of miscarriage associated with the amnio, it would confirm our daughter’s condition. He also explained that if she was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, we had the option to terminate the pregnancy. Due to our religious background, I did not consider this an option.<br /><br />The doctor gave Mike and I some time alone (with lots of tissues) to talk with each other before we continued talking to him. We cried a lot! Never had we expected this to happen. We were just excited to have a baby and now we had to deal with the possibility of losing a precious child. We knelt down together and prayed. We decided together to go ahead with the amniocentesis. We were welcomed into our doctor’s personal office and we told him that we’d like to do the amnio but needed a couple days to prepare emotionally. We also wanted to talk to our regular obstetrician.<br /><br />During the next several days, we worried and studied and learned a lot about Trisomy 18. The following web sites, as well as others, were helpful to Mike and me.<br /><br />• <a href="http://www.trisomy.org/">www.trisomy.org</a><br />• <a href="http://www.trisomy18support.org/">www.trisomy18support.org</a><br />• <a href="http://www.geocities.com/wilsfordmindy">www.geocities.com/wilsfordmindy</a><br /><br />On January 27, we chose a name for our daughter. It was very important to me that we develop a relationship with her prior to her birth. I knew that we needed to be able to call her by a name. We chose the name Hope Elisabeth.<br /><br />We set up an appointment to do the amniocentesis for the following week (January 31). It was a quick process and not too painful. We were told that we’d receive the results of the testing within 10 days.<br /><br />We were very comforted to find out that the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor was of the same religious background as us. We are members of <a href="http://www.mormon.org/">The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints</a> (commonly referred to as Mormons or the LDS church). The doctor was kind enough to talk to us in his office again. We talked not only about the medical implications of Trisomy 18, but also about the promise that even if our daughter’s earthly life was cut short, her life beyond the grave would continue and that our family could be reunited eternally. This was—and is—very comforting. Nothing short of the gospel of Jesus Christ could get me through this trial. I testify that He lives and that only through Him can our families be together forever.<br /><br />On February 9 at 6:55 PM, we received the phone call we had dreaded! Our obstetrician had been asked by the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor to call us and let us know that the genetic testing confirmed that our little Hope Elisabeth did, in fact, have Trisomy 18. It was a very surreal experience. We were a bit numb to the news. During the next 2 hours, we received random phone calls and visits from neighbors and church friends who had no idea what had just happened (although they did know we were awaiting the results). Mike and I felt that this was God’s way of telling us through our friends that He was aware of our situation. We called my family and Mike’s family later that evening and officially began the long preparation for Hope’s birth and even her death.The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-54402557821849201652009-05-17T18:27:00.001-07:002009-05-19T05:59:02.407-07:00Hope's Story - FuneralDuring my pregnancy, I felt the natural desires to prepare for my baby’s birth and to do everything possible to “serve” her prior to her birth. In a normal pregnancy with a healthy baby, these preparations are somewhat obvious—preparing a nursery, buying clothes and other supplies, etc. The preparations are different when a baby has been diagnosed with a condition “incompatible with life”. Mike and I did make some of the “normal” preparations. We bought some clothes and a car seat and a stroller. More often than not though, I desired to do something specific to serve Hope. Oftentimes, this involved preparing in my mind for her death and funeral services.<br /><br />Several times during my pregnancy I found myself planning for Hope’s funeral. I knew from the beginning that if she died, I would like to speak at her funeral. I felt that because her life would most likely be short, Mike and I would certainly be the ones to know her best. I wanted to share with others what I had learned about Hope and what I had learned from her. My experience with my daughter taught me more about the love of God and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ than any other experience in my life. I desired to share with those around me the things that had brought me such happiness and peace amid such difficult circumstances. I took many of my remarks from the journal I had kept during the pregnancy. Mike also shared a beautiful message at Hope’s funeral of love and of the atonement of Jesus Christ.<br /><br />• <a href="http://hopewessman.blogspot.com/2009/05/hopes-funeral-marindas-talk.html">Marinda’s talk</a><br />• <a href="http://hopewessman.blogspot.com/2009/05/hopes-funeral-mikes-talk.html">Mike’s talk</a><br /><br />Along with the program for the funeral, we distributed a handout with some facts about Trisomy 18. Many of our friends and family members commented that this was very helpful to them in understanding Hope’s condition.<br /><br />During my “advance preparations”, I also chose some of the music that would be shared. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (as in many other churches), we have a general hymnal as well as a Children’s Songbook. A few weeks prior to Hope’s birth, I sat at the piano mindlessly thumbing through the Children’s Songbook. I played a childhood favorite, <a href="http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=2&searchseqstart=82&searchsubseqstart=%20&searchseqend=82&searchsubseqend=ZZZ">When He Comes Again</a>. I told Mike that if Hope passed away, I wanted that sung at her funeral. Our parents and siblings did a beautiful job at singing the comforting words and melody at her funeral service. After her passing we chose two lovely hymns (<a href="http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=1&searchseqstart=300&searchsubseqstart=%20&searchseqend=300&searchsubseqend=ZZZ">Families Can Be Together Forever</a> and <a href="http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=1&searchseqstart=134&searchsubseqstart=%20&searchseqend=134&searchsubseqend=ZZZ">I Believe in Christ</a>) from the hymnal for the congregation to sing at the opening and closing of the service.<br /><br />In addition to what I have already mentioned, my father (Hope’s grandfather) gave a beautiful talk on the surety that Hope’s life continues and that she has returned to the presence of a loving Father in Heaven and Elder Brother, Jesus Christ! He quoted my 3-year-old niece who summed it up so well. She said that “Hope is being babysat by Heavenly Father and Jesus until her mommy and daddy come to get her.” Our bishop also gave some beautiful and comforting remarks.<br /><br />Hope was buried close her great-grandfather who preceded her in death in a lovely cemetery.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbmor8nyzxHG6_wLWqRB5z9MhCeeM6phyphenhyphen3PvpM8rkzqvxEJ_5gUoCOjFOyAVrgnTWwGj7rtOSkYGpoAaM_Cn3CQQuH1lh89HhkpaepskrZCwfGFrimyzvVDskoDGZhJ2h-4r_wXpaWRZE/s1600-h/DSCF0793.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbmor8nyzxHG6_wLWqRB5z9MhCeeM6phyphenhyphen3PvpM8rkzqvxEJ_5gUoCOjFOyAVrgnTWwGj7rtOSkYGpoAaM_Cn3CQQuH1lh89HhkpaepskrZCwfGFrimyzvVDskoDGZhJ2h-4r_wXpaWRZE/s320/DSCF0793.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336997572816562050" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwYdjWeXzbzp3kjQYg8J31k4fbMvfRW5TyrcyEzazDBrzREt6-qTBDkyGnMacZEKixXgNVfBDUNhqugP_f0C6KRnqlySh3R95iRaMDxsSjuVLEtOjxLlqYf98W7V5-NHGCwwnKJH_X6Bs/s1600-h/P5180036.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwYdjWeXzbzp3kjQYg8J31k4fbMvfRW5TyrcyEzazDBrzREt6-qTBDkyGnMacZEKixXgNVfBDUNhqugP_f0C6KRnqlySh3R95iRaMDxsSjuVLEtOjxLlqYf98W7V5-NHGCwwnKJH_X6Bs/s320/P5180036.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336997563111096146" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh64YJcZly2ynPkAGvJjI1B7tw_viIZB3j9GCaKa0egBe9402y_DsXgmRwe3AdldxZUdgobq3Z6ph8VJNSoHipA6JSgU2JCZ-aOk0n0ebX1kEXn55gbZ5-EjghOA_kJ42kppv_WdYouWUQ/s1600-h/DSCF0756.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh64YJcZly2ynPkAGvJjI1B7tw_viIZB3j9GCaKa0egBe9402y_DsXgmRwe3AdldxZUdgobq3Z6ph8VJNSoHipA6JSgU2JCZ-aOk0n0ebX1kEXn55gbZ5-EjghOA_kJ42kppv_WdYouWUQ/s320/DSCF0756.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336997567353516418" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZILTXmBPbcMJB0AUN3dfV_UvgflZUWJifoY1W5uKy6IoufYWH5KdRB4_RlT8H7KLvUnQu2z1y6_SNW6RbVufKCDhLFAHsyc9OgPGKw7jbgBEx7XMkYA_-qrRG_0imAdPFoNq9VirbVuM/s1600-h/DSCF0764.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZILTXmBPbcMJB0AUN3dfV_UvgflZUWJifoY1W5uKy6IoufYWH5KdRB4_RlT8H7KLvUnQu2z1y6_SNW6RbVufKCDhLFAHsyc9OgPGKw7jbgBEx7XMkYA_-qrRG_0imAdPFoNq9VirbVuM/s320/DSCF0764.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336997570161166434" border="0" /></a>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-10721221616418119192009-05-17T18:23:00.001-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.943-07:00Hope's story - Pregnancy/Preparing for the birthReceiving the official Trisomy 18 diagnosis was not as traumatic as receiving the initial news that something was wrong. I believe that during the 2½ weeks prior to her diagnosis we were we were prepared to accept whatever lay in store for us.<br /><br />Hope was born 3 months and 5 days following her diagnosis. During that time, my pregnancy progressed in many ways as a normal pregnancy ought to develop. I visited my obstetrician every 4 weeks and every 2 weeks during most of the last trimester. (Hope was born 5 weeks early so my last trimester only lasted about 8 weeks.) We also continued to visit the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor. He and his staff monitored Hope’s growth and development. During our visits with him, we viewed improvements in some areas but definite signs of Trisomy complications in other areas. The cyst on her brain decreased in size. The heart ventricles appeared to be growing. Her overall size, however, was outside the limits of “normal”.<br /><br />One of my physical challenges during the pregnancy was the presence of extra amniotic fluid. I am a very petite person and with the extra fluid characteristic of a Trisomy pregnancy, I found myself very uncomfortable at times. Sitting was very difficult as the baby and the fluid were pressed into my ribs. I developed bruises and irritation marks close to my ribs. Luckily, however, I was able to feel Hope’s legs and feet quite regularly—right in my ribs!<br /><br />Hope was an active baby! (This was my first pregnancy so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I felt that she was active.) She developed somewhat of a schedule and Mike and I were able to feel her movements most evenings later in the pregnancy. This was a magical time for us. In Mike’s talk at her funeral, he commented that these were his first interactions with his daughter and it brought me a great deal of joy to have him share in the joy that I experienced as she moved and lived inside of me.<br /><br />One of the biggest challenges for Mike and me was to determine a plan for her actual birth. Especially during the last few weeks of my pregnancy I felt very anxious and tense every time we tried to talk about a birth plan. My main concern was whether or not to schedule a C-section or to deliver her vaginally; and, if we went with the vaginal route should I have an epidural. These are important and personal decisions, but as you will see from our story, we never did have a chance to formalize a plan, and everything still worked out OK. I believe that with the emotional strain of not knowing how long Hope would live, I felt helpless and out of control. I wanted so badly to know what would be the best birth option for her, but I didn’t have a crystal ball and couldn’t see what would be best. I believe 100% that because of lots of prayer and because of the comfort of the Holy Ghost, we were able to make good decisions when the time came.<br /><br />Backing up a bit to the source of the conflict, I had read many accounts of Trisomy parents who decided to schedule a C-section. I believe that this was in an effort to minimize trauma to the baby and to avoid the emotional stress (of the parents) during labor. This all sounded good to me! Hope is our first child so naturally our main concern was whether or not a C-section would impact future pregnancies and deliveries. We first had the opportunity to talk with our obstetrician. He was very supportive. He told us that a C-section might not be a bad idea because of the reasons I have mentioned. He told us that, yes, there are risks involved, but that most mothers are able to deliver vaginally after a C-section. I knew that I wanted a C-section although I wasn’t 100% convinced that it was the best option. Mike was very supportive of me. He was very concerned about me emotionally, but it was apparent that he had reservations about the C-section. We agreed that we could tentatively plan on the C-section but that we’d also get the opinion of our Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor.<br /><br />A couple weeks later as we visited with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist, we sought his opinion with regards to the C-section. He made it clear that he was not in favor of that option! I was so torn! He let us know that although the risks are small, there are risks to a C-section. He expressed his concern that with the likelihood that Hope would die shortly after birth, he’d hate to see future pregnancies endangered. It was very comforting, however, to hear him tell us that if Hope lived through the pregnancy, he did not feel that a vaginal birth would prevent her from being born alive. As we left the doctor’s office that day, Mike encouraged me not to think about it for a while! She was not due for 8 weeks and I felt that this was going to be the most difficult decision of my life.<br /><br />I must interject here that the only thing that saved me through this time was prayer and faith. I prayed everyday that Hope would be born alive. I knew that I must accept the Lord’s will, but I wanted so desperately to see her alive. After a while, I began to feel that this request could be granted. I never had any sort of an impression as to how long she’d live, but both Mike and I did have a peaceful assurance that she’d be born alive. I trust that this calmed my fears about the birthing decision. I was (and I am not sure at what point) able to leave it all in the Lord’s hands. I knew that I had felt a sweet and peaceful assurance that she’d be born alive. I trusted that if there was a birthing plan we needed to adhere to in order to make that happen that the Lord would let us know what it was.<br /><br />Now, having said all this, we did have every intention to create a specific birthing plan. Here are a couple links to some we found. We expected to use these plans as a basis for our own plan, personalizing it to our needs and desires:<br /><br />• <a href="http://www.geocities.com/wilsfordmindy/writebirthplan.html">http://www.geocities.com/wilsfordmindy/writebirthplan.html</a><br />• <a href="http://graceannenugent.netfirms.com/birthplan.html">http://graceannenugent.netfirms.com/birthplan.html</a><br /><br />The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com141tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-41998507172457007862009-05-17T18:22:00.002-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.946-07:00Hope's Story - Her memoryHere are a couple things (nothing too fancy) that we have done to guarantee that Hope’s presence will be felt in our home:<p></p><ul><li>We took lots of pictures! (At her funeral, my cousin commented that for every minute of Hope’s life there must be several pictures.) We had a few display tables at her funeral and currently display pictures prominently in our home.</li><li>During my pregnancy, I kept a journal. I wrote the entries directed to Hope. I look forward to periodically reminding myself of these experiences and, at times, sharing them with others as appropriate.</li><li>Kind friends offered to create molds of Hope’s hands and feet. We were given many darling bracelets that she wore in her casket and they will be put on the mold of her hands.</li></ul><p>Other traditions, I am sure will develop as time passes. Holidays and birthdays will be important days of remembrance.</p><font style="font-weight: bold;" size="4">OUR TESTIMONY OF JESUS CHRIST</font><p></p><p><font style="font-weight: bold;">I have tried to do everything possible to maintain Hope’s memory although her time with us was so painfully short. The best thing I know how to do is talk to others about her, about her condition and, perhaps most importantly, about the spirit and the testimony that she strengthened in our lives. Hope’s legacy is the testimony of Jesus Christ that has grown in my heart, in the heart of her sweet dad and in the lives of so many others. Mike and I were both raised by parents who taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. We have both sought to live according to His teachings. We have both been active in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints throughout our lives. Nothing, however, has drawn us closer to the Lord and testified more of His reality and love of His children than the tragedy we experienced with our sweet daughter. We testify that through the atonement of Jesus Christ we will be sustained and supported through our trials and difficulties. I know that the Lord will not ask us to bear more than we are able to handle. And He will give us the tools we need to endure and even grow from these experiences.</font><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEXMW8hE8rq7Cn7omQU2BrA6hVYw6kVO_sv0OkNuTrfawaLm4XttWa6rHyQ7sJLAn3eiz2YK9JVCXIstDLUqstqblKrMN9ejT2OM46KoP_n2clx6B9uBYJET3HBQHQ_zhEDVHf8rvY-fY/s1600-h/redrobe.dll"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 246px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEXMW8hE8rq7Cn7omQU2BrA6hVYw6kVO_sv0OkNuTrfawaLm4XttWa6rHyQ7sJLAn3eiz2YK9JVCXIstDLUqstqblKrMN9ejT2OM46KoP_n2clx6B9uBYJET3HBQHQ_zhEDVHf8rvY-fY/s320/redrobe.dll" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336993094393077970" border="0"></a></p>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-58027938095053187132009-05-17T18:22:00.001-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.949-07:00Hope's Story - Her Miraculous LifeHope Elisabeth’s life is recorded on her birth certificate as beginning at 2:18 AM on May 14, 2005. (That is fine, but I know that she was very alive as she lived inside of me.) I mentioned as I recorded the events of her birth that the moments immediately following her birth were very overwhelming for me. Perhaps, they were some of the most overwhelming feelings I had ever felt.<p>Our nurse, JoDee, quickly took Hope over to a warming table to wrap her up. She told me that her heartbeat was holding at 60bpm. I told JoDee very calmly to bring her to me and to not weigh or measure her yet. At that moment I knew with certainty that Hope’s life would be very short. I was not distraught. I felt a warm and peaceful spirit that would stay with me for the next several hours.</p><p>When JoDee handed Hope to me, she took a gasp and opened both of her beautiful eyes to look right up at me. That was the only time that we saw both of her eyes open and it was beautiful. Our digital camera has an obnoxious delay on the shutter, but through God’s “tender mercies”, Mike was able to get it on film.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-tGb-Y-jLAPNYs8to0GvUMGe4aXdHJAiq5VashpyYGZJSwkq_qwxlTDga_lleg5Ev7EGlCujBdqttIOG1GHG0soJRhX8N303QkBay9Ywf0BQTyWUjK7Mct6Haw1r_2cZDT_tRI8gs07c/s1600-h/P5140036.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-tGb-Y-jLAPNYs8to0GvUMGe4aXdHJAiq5VashpyYGZJSwkq_qwxlTDga_lleg5Ev7EGlCujBdqttIOG1GHG0soJRhX8N303QkBay9Ywf0BQTyWUjK7Mct6Haw1r_2cZDT_tRI8gs07c/s320/P5140036.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336994283340156706" border="0"></a></p><p>I had read several accounts online of Trisomy babies and how their lives had played out. When I realized that Hope was periodically gasping for breath, I wasn’t afraid or concerned. I knew that apnea was something to expect. I am very grateful that I knew that in advance. During her life, I don’t know how many breaths she took, but over the 52 minutes of her recorded life, they spread out and became more spaced.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtKQPUJmXqwoInUKVV1XQ7YwB4RRFkTJDb1rRdOUePGVe1KAR3MC4dqEPOu4Lg8d4CtG2DE7P8b8Isx_ehQmVp7u2ypq7-rfdpFopZtcVv61-YLGMHZZabA1-pIAdGnkD6Xw91-96e2l0/s1600-h/P5140050+cleaned,+b%26w1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 315px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtKQPUJmXqwoInUKVV1XQ7YwB4RRFkTJDb1rRdOUePGVe1KAR3MC4dqEPOu4Lg8d4CtG2DE7P8b8Isx_ehQmVp7u2ypq7-rfdpFopZtcVv61-YLGMHZZabA1-pIAdGnkD6Xw91-96e2l0/s320/P5140050+cleaned,+b%26w1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336994291800325138" border="0"></a></p><p>For the next several minutes we held and loved our beautiful baby. Sometime within 30 minutes we invited my family in the delivery room. Mike’s family was very close to arriving. My father asked Mike if he planned to give Hope a Priesthood blessing. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints worthy male members of the Church can receive the Priesthood. Through this power they can administer to the sick and perform other ordinances. Mike has looked forward to the opportunity to bless our children and he has especially looked forward to the privilege of administering to Hope. My father and brother (also holders of the Priesthood) joined as Mike gave our sweet daughter a blessing. In the blessing he expressed gratitude for the privilege of seeing sweet Hope alive. He also acknowledged our willingness to accept the Lord’s will with regards to the length of her life.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPE2aOSQ5CWzxSzs9bFkO7SAGlQo_BeZc8IdBXi7pFc-OXduLCJhMIEuwv1SQAgjsFEj-cmrOppZPQSEuCJ6alYx8zUVhjSs0vpsACGjnFkWL6oHB4QqFxGVVcStnwGh8RJvJKVvIPpt0/s1600-h/P51400441.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPE2aOSQ5CWzxSzs9bFkO7SAGlQo_BeZc8IdBXi7pFc-OXduLCJhMIEuwv1SQAgjsFEj-cmrOppZPQSEuCJ6alYx8zUVhjSs0vpsACGjnFkWL6oHB4QqFxGVVcStnwGh8RJvJKVvIPpt0/s320/P51400441.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336994287590113746" border="0"></a></p><p>At around 3:00 AM, Mike’s family arrived. What a blessing it was to have them there to meet Hope! At 3:10 AM, I told JoDee that she could now measure and weigh our baby. She weighed in at 3 lbs. 0 oz. and measured 15 inches long. Her legs were so long and skinny! Her death record shows her passing at 3:10 AM. Following her measurements, JoDee was not able to detect a heartbeat.</p><p>Tears started falling in the room, but I still felt a love and a peace that I couldn’t deny. JoDee didn’t tell me that her heartbeat was gone, but I do remember saying to Mike, “She doesn’t have a heartbeat anymore, does she?” He confirmed to me that she had, indeed, passed away. With a peace and calmness that I cannot explain—enough that I had a smile on my face—I asked JoDee to wrap her back up in her blanket and to give her back to me. I remember looking at everyone in the room and saying, “It is OK. Just give her back to me.” I was filled with a peace and love that I had never before experienced. After a bit, we asked our families to go out for a while so that Mike and I could be alone with our baby.</p><p>While Mike and I were alone with Hope, we felt her sweet presence with us. I know that she wasn’t far. Hope’s experience on earth was short, but I can say without any reservation that every one of those 52 minutes was filled with love. She was surrounded by people who will always love her so dearly. Just the same, she was able, in such a short time and with such a small body, to impart such a pure and simple love to those who would mourn her passing.</p><p>After a while, we invited our families back in to the room. We bathed Hope. We tried to clean all that beautiful dark hair. (My husband has a lot to live up to with our future children. My side of the family produces only bald babies!) The hospital was wonderful. They gave us a beautiful white gown to dress her in. They also gave us a box put together by a mother who lost an infant. In that box were other toys and outfits we could dress her in. Over the next little bit, we dressed our baby in 2 different outfits and took lots of pictures. She is so beautiful!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ6DYtJLdKYGic7DF01hln1WSESWpIwk76DuG8AkM27VgH-If79T3WatzORxKeWwWnVDo0jbFX3LIPAIddIzdASVYhun4SqGTSvNEbFlEtek62Xil7KIRy3emqUHWO55AG9fQc79TXv1E/s1600-h/100_11951.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ6DYtJLdKYGic7DF01hln1WSESWpIwk76DuG8AkM27VgH-If79T3WatzORxKeWwWnVDo0jbFX3LIPAIddIzdASVYhun4SqGTSvNEbFlEtek62Xil7KIRy3emqUHWO55AG9fQc79TXv1E/s320/100_11951.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336995092981871426" border="0"></a></p><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgonwSsXzozXqBBREh497Fl9D0W3o7-5cJMkNWm3DfCjKp5sfVg9B469ZEvb8bOZcElia1SiuSZAz2RKNjtQN2RiqkXPpljWJFK7qOovkSxQZ0BkvIMp2tDKr-UbWBpsoN5nqsgk2Si3JA/s1600-h/P51401011+cropped.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgonwSsXzozXqBBREh497Fl9D0W3o7-5cJMkNWm3DfCjKp5sfVg9B469ZEvb8bOZcElia1SiuSZAz2RKNjtQN2RiqkXPpljWJFK7qOovkSxQZ0BkvIMp2tDKr-UbWBpsoN5nqsgk2Si3JA/s320/P51401011+cropped.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336995086632041858" border="0"></a></p><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOOiA26qH4HpBgI_iSJ2C8Bhf3BTmAZrxSKxcjEkI_w8RLBx3j5ZPSSaed16Wq1Ju-gCQQRnKG-N7zE4E_3dXN7DrmT71TpWl6y0tt3xtPGsd9cRpxs-p8wGsa1uieYLS-qPovsdO6dKo/s1600-h/100_12271.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOOiA26qH4HpBgI_iSJ2C8Bhf3BTmAZrxSKxcjEkI_w8RLBx3j5ZPSSaed16Wq1Ju-gCQQRnKG-N7zE4E_3dXN7DrmT71TpWl6y0tt3xtPGsd9cRpxs-p8wGsa1uieYLS-qPovsdO6dKo/s320/100_12271.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336995078439078786" border="0"></a></p><p>We spent most of our stay in the hospital with Hope. We left the afternoon on the same day as her birth. The time we spent with her at the hospital was very therapeutic. Mike and I have developed the tradition of daily family prayers and daily scripture study as a couple. We have always looked forward to including our children in these practices. During our time with Hope, we were able to pray and read scriptures with her. We also told her a couple stories and sang her a few songs. I know that she had already passed away, but these are memories that we desired to share with our beautiful baby—things we are sad we will miss out on.<br /></p>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-55994270450593507512009-05-17T18:18:00.000-07:002009-05-19T05:55:02.953-07:00Hope's Story - Her Miraculous BirthOn Friday, May 13, 2005 at about 8:55 PM, I was sitting on the couch in the living room working on some school things on the laptop computer. (I am an elementary school teacher.) Periodically during the previous few weeks, I had felt an increased amount of vaginal discharge. I felt a strange sensation and at first decided it was just some discharge. After a few moments, I decided that I had better go to the bathroom to make sure. As soon as I shifted positions on the couch the water started to gush! I never expected that I could hold so much fluid! I called for Mike in the other room (who had considered a church camping trip that weekend but had decided against it) and he encouraged me to get to the toilet. I waddled into the bathroom trying to minimize the amount of water on the floor (a pointless effort). After a few minutes I stood up to get into the shower. Mike told me that there was some blood in the toilet. This made me afraid and I wanted nothing more than to get to the hospital quick! Mike gathered some clothes, toothbrushes, etc. for the hospital. I just sat on the toilet. After a few minutes, I put on my second or third set of dry clothes and walked out the car. Mike was right behind me. On the way to the hospital, we stopped at McDonald’s. (We hadn’t eaten dinner yet.)<p>We arrived at the hospital at 9:45ish. The first thing the staff said when they saw us was that they were not used to seeing McDonald’s bags on the labor and delivery floor. I wasn’t aware that I shouldn’t be eating since going into labor. I told Mike he could eat my chicken. They even made me give up my cup of water! The next thing I did was tell them that this baby was five weeks early and that she had Trisomy 18. They calmly directed me to the VIP suite and told me that JoDee would be our nurse.</p><p><br />When I got to the room, I told our escort (perhaps a CNA) that there was blood mixed in with the water. She looked in the toilet and said that a small amount of blood was normal. She assured me that the nurse would evaluate the situation. I will mention now that during labor the nurse was mildly concerned about the bleeding. She said that it was a bit more than should be expected. After the delivery of the placenta, our doctor determined that the placenta had torn (placenta abruption). Knowing this now confirms to us even more that Hope’s birth was nothing short of a miracle!</p><p>At this point, I will also mention that, although the C-section vs. vaginal delivery debate had been a terrible stress for me, I felt very calm when I arrived at the hospital. I didn’t consider a C-section and I was confident that a vaginal delivery would be just fine. As the contractions started to progress, I did ask for an epidural. I was assured by my nurse that the epidural would in no way impair my alertness at the time of the baby’s birth.</p><p>During this time, Mike called his family who live 3 hours from us. They left their home at midnight. My family lives only 20 minutes from us, but when Mike called them, he found out that my parents were 2 hours away on a weekend getaway. Fortunately, we were able to contact them quickly and they were able to leave by 11:30 PM.</p><p>Well, the first time the nurse evaluated me, she found that I was dilated to a 3, 80% effaced and that the contractions, although weak, were 3 minutes apart. Everything progressed rapidly!</p><p>Hope was born at 2:18 AM—only 4½ hours after arriving at the hospital. Here are a couple things that happened in the meantime. I am not sure of exact times, but I think I have got the sequence right.</p><ul><li>A monitor was put on both my stomach for the contractions and on the baby to monitor her heartbeat. I was thrilled to hear her heart beating at 130bpm, but I felt that the normal pressures of labor and the inevitable fluctuations in her heart beat would be very stressful so we decided not to monitor the baby. I had a calm and peaceful assurance that Hope would be born alive and for that reason I didn’t question removing the monitors. (As I reflect on it now, I wonder how I did it.)</li><li>I told the nurse that I would like an epidural. I asked, however, if there was any chance that the epidural would affect my alertness. I wanted to be 100% alert and aware during whatever time my baby was alive. She assured me that the epidural would not affect me in that way and the anesthesiologist gave me the epidural.</li><li>I had dilated to a 5 the next time she checked me.</li><li>Mike and I took a nap.</li><li>I woke up from the nap with a great deal of pressure.</li><li>JoDee came in and asked how I was doing. I told her I was feeling pressure. When I described what I was feeling, she quickly checked me. It seemed like we were all of the sudden in a quick and urgent mode. I was now dilated to a 10.</li><li>JoDee got the room ready and called the obstetrician.</li></ul>I started pushing sometime around 1:45 PM. This was my first pregnancy and being that Mike and I had never had any birthing classes or advance preparation (due to our uncertainty of how we wanted to deliver Hope), JoDee gave us a crash course in pushing and delivery. Everything, however, was so calm.<br /><br />The doctor arrived at around 2:00 AM. Immediately before she was born, he informed me that he would like to do an episiotomy because I was already tearing on the inside. I was quick to agree, knowing that this could speed up Hope’s arrival. On the next push, her head was out. One more push and her entire body was out.<br /><br />Mike cut the umbilical cord. She cried! Her body moved on the table. I suppose that these moments were the only ones that I wouldn’t classify and calm and peaceful. I am not saying they were bad; it is just that I was so overwhelmed by the sight in the mirror of my daughter alive! I cried out a bit and even hid my eyes in Mike’s side. I was so overwhelmed by the sight of Hope—alive!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoew3FMXbn8WauAkwUEYSdVyL4QxgoGn4e9DW_8OecCAXl9qMgUH0sXaSVjZy67bXHk8j1-Ik-jv094cqLsDWoFPVKkUvLIkJplYag2i21wgMH75ITts8AjPTdla1MrdoTSSo7G97Xhrs/s1600-h/P5140040.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoew3FMXbn8WauAkwUEYSdVyL4QxgoGn4e9DW_8OecCAXl9qMgUH0sXaSVjZy67bXHk8j1-Ik-jv094cqLsDWoFPVKkUvLIkJplYag2i21wgMH75ITts8AjPTdla1MrdoTSSo7G97Xhrs/s320/P5140040.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336996256949050290" border="0"></a>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3391544063002417791.post-60487971586131098412009-05-17T17:56:00.000-07:002009-11-01T17:58:46.095-08:00Hope's ObituaryHope Elisabeth Wessman was born on <st1:date year="2005" day="14" month="5" st="on">May 14, 2005</st1:date>.<span style=""> </span>Prior to her birth, Hope was diagnosed with the chromosomal disorder Trisomy 18.<span style=""> </span>We knew that her time with us would be limited and felt so blessed to spend a day with her.<span style=""> </span>She is a beautiful little girl with lots of dark hair.<span style=""> </span>We are grateful for the memories created with her and look forward to being reunited as an eternal family. <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hope is loved dearly by her parents Michael and Marinda Wessman of Murray and her grandparents David and Kaye Wessman of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Idaho Falls</st1:place></st1:city> and Patrick and Adele Casaday of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Sandy</st1:place></st1:city>.<span style=""> </span>She is also adored by great-grandparents Beverly Wessman, Mary and Frank Salisbury, David and Nancy Robinson, Leo and Leola Nielsen, Ray and Ellen Casaday, Marva and Tom Manuel; and aunts and uncles Tim and Katie, Rebekah, Lara, Tami and Kevin, Stephanie, Brian, Kaley; along with her cousins Brooklyn and Isaac.<span style=""> </span>Hope’s great-grandpa John Wessman preceded her in death.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">A funeral will be held on Wednesday, May 18 at <st1:time minute="30" hour="11" st="on">11:30 AM</st1:time> at the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> 3<sup>rd</sup> Ward (160 East 4600 South).<span style=""> </span>Friends and family are invited to a viewing at the church one hour prior to the funeral.<span style=""> </span>Interment will follow in the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Salt Lake City</st1:placename> <st1:country-region st="on">Cemetery</st1:country-region></st1:place>.<span style=""> </span>In lieu of flowers, we invite friends to visit [ ] for links to charitable donation ideas and service opportunities.<span style=""> </span>Funeral services are under the direction of Jenkins-Soffe Mortuary.</p>The Wessman Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780247937124654277noreply@blogger.com1