Over the next few weeks, I had a pretty normal first trimester experience. I was occasionally sick and nauseated. I was very fortunate that my obstetrician performed ultrasounds at all of our appointments. At 7 weeks we saw her heart beat! It was amazing. At our next appointment, we received pictures showing her tiny limbs. At 17 weeks, our doctor told us that he suspected we were expecting a little girl. Mike and I were so excited to welcome a daughter into our family!
The doctor gave Mike and I some time alone (with lots of tissues) to talk with each other before we continued talking to him. We cried a lot! Never had we expected this to happen. We were just excited to have a baby and now we had to deal with the possibility of losing a precious child. We knelt down together and prayed. We decided together to go ahead with the amniocentesis. We were welcomed into our doctor’s personal office and we told him that we’d like to do the amnio but needed a couple days to prepare emotionally. We also wanted to talk to our regular obstetrician.
During the next several days, we worried and studied and learned a lot about Trisomy 18. The following web sites, as well as others, were helpful to Mike and me.
• www.trisomy.org
• www.trisomy18support.org
• www.geocities.com/wilsfordmindy
On January 27, we chose a name for our daughter. It was very important to me that we develop a relationship with her prior to her birth. I knew that we needed to be able to call her by a name. We chose the name Hope Elisabeth.
We set up an appointment to do the amniocentesis for the following week (January 31). It was a quick process and not too painful. We were told that we’d receive the results of the testing within 10 days.
We were very comforted to find out that the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor was of the same religious background as us. We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly referred to as Mormons or the LDS church). The doctor was kind enough to talk to us in his office again. We talked not only about the medical implications of Trisomy 18, but also about the promise that even if our daughter’s earthly life was cut short, her life beyond the grave would continue and that our family could be reunited eternally. This was—and is—very comforting. Nothing short of the gospel of Jesus Christ could get me through this trial. I testify that He lives and that only through Him can our families be together forever.
On February 9 at 6:55 PM, we received the phone call we had dreaded! Our obstetrician had been asked by the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor to call us and let us know that the genetic testing confirmed that our little Hope Elisabeth did, in fact, have Trisomy 18. It was a very surreal experience. We were a bit numb to the news. During the next 2 hours, we received random phone calls and visits from neighbors and church friends who had no idea what had just happened (although they did know we were awaiting the results). Mike and I felt that this was God’s way of telling us through our friends that He was aware of our situation. We called my family and Mike’s family later that evening and officially began the long preparation for Hope’s birth and even her death.
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